It's already morning
I came back from work last night and just fell asleep while I was watching TV...
Thinking.. whether should I leave for a trip this week, summing up my 50days in here..
Yesterday broke by mom waking me up to eat breakfast.. Had a sandwich as usual and dad bugged mom to give him one too..
Left home and headed for the subway station with my bike..
Passing through the wids,.. I didn't feel like fresh or feel like a head starter of the day like how I did usually..
Felt more like... tired from the repetitive working days.. and wanting to avoid the unavoidable social interaction with people at work.. The unwanted kind of social interactions...
On the way to work, I tried to force myself to read the English book I had bought with my Popular Voucher in Sg but I couldn't.. Feelings told me not to..
As I was at the last transitting point, I saw my colleague, who took interview with me standing and waiting for the train.. I quickly approached her and said hi. Wass the first moment of the day that broke the silence and began the social interaction with people.. Why am I afraid of social interactions?.. Hmm. maybe that is because it gets to be two people, not just me. When things include other people.. I begin to wary of not making mistake to other people...
Luckily, conversing with her became much better than the previous time.. It became more like we were friends now.. I was pretty much comfortable with her. I wouldn't like her as a girl, as she already has a boyfriend, but I find her really a nice person to talk to.
Reached work and there was no other time for chitchats..
Being a man, I was given chores to do.. and after that.. like so surprisingly, both my colleague who travelled to work together and I were assigned the roles that we wanted to take. On the way to the work, I asked her what she wants to take and she wanted to do the concert hall and I wanted to do the car racing. We were both given those roles..like as if the boss heard our voices. It was such easy job and lunch came so fast. Had a meal with a brother who was about 3years older than I do.
After lunch, I had a several occasion talking to Eun Sun, who was same age as I did. I like her. I mean as a real friend. I really like her. I can't communicate with her comfortably yet.. but I just love the fact that she approaches me and wants to talk to me. Real great person.. How many girls would approach a guy. and talk to him.. and not just a time but everytime.. I want to make good friends with her.
During work, one of the two bosses came to me and talk. He was kind of hmm lower position than the other boss. He began complaining about the work and the other boss. It is true that the other boss is bit bossy and vulgar. It was the same thought other colleagues had to. But I didn't know when I was tlaking to him I should agree with him and all.. Cos.. I do not like. talking about people at the back. And although I thought the other boss was being vulgar and bit rough on people.. I just wanted to think it as doing his job.. I was confused and luckily a kid came to my station and we set apart..
I'm confused of myself as a guy..
I guess I am not totally behaving like a guy when comparing with other people... The new guy who came yesterday seemed pretty manly. Like.. he wasn't just silent but he talked to people and didn't seem like he was overreacting at any cause. While me, overreacting at every single thing voice damn loud height super small... Sometimes I feel I'm just a boyy.. not a man yet.. But this is the way I've been till now and thought was right.. like.. trying to make people comfortable and all.. But the way I'm behaving.. maybe to guys is not right.. time for thought again...
Ended work and I wanted to go home with Eun Sun to finally have time to talk to as we were no longer contrained under the condition of work. And luckily, she was holding an umbrella so I went on to put my arm around her shoulder and asked her to go to the subway station tgt as it was raining. As we were walking out when it was silent, Eun Sun would always talk first and find some topic. I really thankful to her. Hope I can somehow be friends with her and get comfortable with her.. like how I managed to become really good friends with Sinyoung who is my first female friend I made two years ago..
On the way home, was another time talking all the way with my interview colleague as she was the only one living nearby me. There was no pause in the conversation..I was really comfortable talking to her and it was all thanks to her. She was type of person who gets normal 70 likes on facebook. That kind of sociality.. And the more and more I talked to her.. she reminded of my musical teacher, Hee Jin .. She was 30 years old yet best friend of mine. I loved talking to her when she was with me in church. She was my teacher. But like I was so comfortable talking with her.. Although, now.. I stop contacting her as... I was so sorry to remind her again..that I had retained again.. I know she wouldn't mind.. but I just did not have the courage to bring my face up to talk to her... I've got to wait another year... to talk to her.. after doing well..
This. similarity actually became another reason I wouldn't get with her even she did not have a boyfriend.. Her type of personality is that she can get well so well with people and me being a jelly person I guess I will get jealous very easily when seeng her getting along so well with other people like this.. Oh ya No wonder the boyfriend so protective during interview. Sit in between to block her haha oh I see now..
Reached home had another fulfilling dinner ... was watching Gag Concert on TV and I fell asleep..GUess I was too tired from work... It's another day.. Fighting bro
Goodmorning..
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