Hi midnight..
Today was the real time where I woke up real early. Only woke up at 6 to prepare myself to go gym. I went for gym in the morning and left for work. As I was about to leave home for gym, I told mom and dad that I actually have a bike so they do not need to worry me, getting beaten in the street as it was pretty dark. Mom frightened and dad was calm as usual. I do not understand why mom is so unhappy with the idea that I am having a bike. She told me that she feels inconvenient to place our bike at other people's house. I do not understand how is that causing inconvenience to the owner.
Had a rushing time in gym as I was again kept going to toilet for bowel movements. Reached for work and as I was walking to the center from the train stop, someone shook his umbrella so obviously directing to me. It was my colleague who was like 3 years older than me. I was hoping it would be the girl I talked to yesterday. When you come around the same time for work, you get to go home together, you get to eat lunch together. I was having a slight hope nevertheless of the commitments I made the last night. I'm crazy. Even on the way to the train, I was keep thinking of her and thinking of what to say.... and keep thinking what actions I should make to her... Ha..
Reached the place and I found her standing. I approached to talk to her with the conversation I prepared according to my assumption of her replies. Things went crudely wrong. She totally gave me a different reply. It was really unexpected then I kinda panicked and just walked away. The whole day was just awkward with her and work ended that way. There was another girl who wanted to know me yesterday, came to talk to me today. She was the same age as me and always tried to talk to me. I hope to be friends with the both of them. I hope that sometime I can hangout with them and enjoy having meal and everything like how normal Korean adults do... I've never had a Korean friend who was like those Koreans in Korea. I wanted to have such friends... Hais...
There was one real bright thing today though.. As usual kids loved me.. and when I was about to end work, I saw a mom who took photo of her two sons all the day. I approached her to say bye and she began talking to me by asking my age as I looked young. and she asked me whether I do love kids even off the work.. I got humble and I mumbled..and she told me that I was really really good at handling with kids. I was so thankful for her words.. but this praise that she gave me.. brought me a much clearer view of my visions. I found out that I love kids.. and good dealing with them. This actually gave me a thought..that I shouldn't be a kindergarten teacher or childcare center teacher.. When this job becomes my work, one of the great traits I have which is loving kids, become just a deed due to work not by nature. It becomes such that I love kids just for the sake of work, but not purely loving them. This gave me a clearer thought of how my future job should be.
Left for home and now,, I am typing my day...
How would tomorrow be like.. I'm really glad that I'm working tomorrow as having a tomorrow means that I am given another chance to make friends with them.. Be yourself youngsub if you want to last long as friends with them. You won't be able to enjoy being friends if you are not yourself. Of course you do need to alter yourself according to the situation but rmb to stick to yourself. And be more confident talking to them. and be their true friends.. Hope that. I can know them more and better tomorrow.. not a time for myself to look a better person from them..
Goodnight..
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