Midnight in Suwon - Day 76

Depressed?

or just being emotional?...

Tonight is the day I would want to write this diary.. take out this diary ... to write my story of the day... and console my feelings..

Leaving a place... leaving the people ... leaving the country... although has been the repeatitive procedure in my life... still can't get adjusted to it..

Left home early morning for football..

There were four people including me today. The guy I saw the other time when the center was closed was there too. I was glad to finally have several people training with me. My passes were inaccurate and I really need to see an improvement.. I've been training for the past two months and I indeed need to see a change.

We played a 2v2 game after the trainings and I could see the improvements.. like hmm control and passes maybe..

I didn't do the self training today as I had to rush home later on to call SIM to double check some of the enquiries I had. Gymmed for about an hour and got home when it was like 2pm. Had a late lunch and began doing all the works like calling the SIM and checking out the flight schedule.

76th day.. yeah now I see that I've almost come to the end of this long journey.. now I see it as a short journey.. Three months passing so fast... I don't feel like it was a long one... Thank God I didn't spend it just stuck at library and playing game.. but used it to do several things like touring.. meeting friends... working..

I told mom the flight details.. and mom said go ahead... and she began crying.. Asking herself.. why have we become like this.. Why did we start all these... all these of family staying apart... I felt her deep sorrow..

Had a dinner and I fell into a deep sleep that I just woke up like 30mins ago..

What can I do to end this 100 journeys a meaningful one?

Hmm.. firstly I will have to settle all the things that worry me.. hmm but if that comes from the heart that I want to settle it for my sake but not for the purity of desire to solve the problem..then don't do it... Let's settle the ambiguous relationships I have... Let's end this work I've been doing for the past two months in a better manner. You've come a long way... Got scolded a lot and learned a lot either. Let's play football harder to prepare myself.. you have a goal..then let's try to strive for it. Study harder.. You haven't done any.. You know yourself what is important for you to be prepared for school.. Let's prepare myself for school.. Let's have a better relationship with my family.. Treat them nicer and stop having so much noises.. and fights. Let's do something I haven't done before... like volunteering for community work on my own. I guess that's all I can think of for now.. Let's make it... a lovable one..

Goodnight..