Midnight in Suwon - Day 57

The midnight in Suwon is here and I'm quite glad to feel the air over there in Innova with a long chat with my dear friend Akmal..

Hearing the news up there... his stories... had a while to get the feel as if I'm there.. and talking to him... laughing and smiling... how would I wish I can go back then... and remove all the hatreds.. and all the bossyness I had... and just enjoy what we had....  Never make regrets from now..

Woke up today in the morning when it was 7:40... After peeing, I went back to sleep as I can leave when its 9. Even when I woke up again at 8:50.. I felt terrible.. Really didn't feel like doing any single thing today.. Being so depressed by the sudden cancellation... like I was so high up for today and today's schedule became all in ruin just with a sudden notice... I felt terrible. I had two bananas for breakfast and left for the football center. As I was driving with my bike... this thought came up to me.. 6 years back... when I was told from mom that I will be going to Australia and when that was cancelled.. I clearly remember that I couldn't control my emotions... This time.. I gotta show that I'm grown. And this time.. it's not that big issue as much as moving to another country and also it is going to be done on next Tuesday. I decided to calm myself and behave normally.. and live today.. without a single waste... as if I had planned to do all these for today..

Got to the football center and I was the only one receiving the training again. It was another such great opportunity for me.. It was tiring but still better than on Tuesday. I could breathe and I could manage all the hard trainings he gave me. He also praised me that my passes and shots were getting more accurate. It was like really almost the first time me getting his praise. Seeing other seniors getting praises from the coach... I used to wish that one day I can grow up to that level where I can get claps and praises from the coach.. A change in my attitude where I began to trust people and accept their advice.. not like before where I had such aggressive attitude towards advice.. I began to get better off.. Don't forget this life lesson throughout your life journey youngsub..

Had another 40 minutes of individual practice. I usually trained for an hour but today I couldn't. Even when I was doing that 40mins.. I didn't feel so much like doing either.. It was partly because I had such suffering training during the first hour's lesson time as I almost felt like vomiting..

I had a such fulfilling lunch..got to the gym and spend a super long hours there. I spend like three hours gymming there. I did all the sets except doing the running. I knew I had the stamina to do so but was really lazy off for it... But still.. comforting myself that having to come here and do all the rest of the sets were still an achievement considering what had happend the last night..

Then.. I got to the library beside. I wanted to spend the time thinking of how I should do the studies before leaving to Singapore. First. I made a mind map of what had caused me to fail the last year based on just studies. Firstly was the lack of concentration, secondly was the lack of comprehension and lastly was the lack of time spent for studies... My conclusion was to read more books. I should read more books to maintain my concentration and also to have a better comprehending skills. Decided to read all those English based newspapers, download all the English papers app, and to read the English books while I was on the train. Had a successful brainstorming hour and reached home.

Mom was lying on the mattress looking tired. She was suffering from cold. Me, being still a teenager my body was alright even with cold. I could go everywhere and stay normal. but maybe to her age was different. She couldn't even prepare dinner for us. After giving us the dinner she is now lying on the mattress again.. sleeping.. I should be better son.. and better brother.. Thinking of what I can do to help them...

After all,.. now i'm here again in the room typing my stories out..

Just had a long chat with my dear friend Akmal..

I love him.. How'd I wish I can have such time where I can be with him 24/7 in school...

I miss that... and hope I didn't wasted it when I had them..

Thank God for such blessed conversation time...

And..

Goodnight..