65th night in Suwon.
Just got home after a lady's night.
The two girls who were on the same way as me going home.. Hye Ji and Un Young who are a year older than me... we had a dinner together. It was great time but guess.. the regrets in my heart show disappointment within me.
Last night.. after writing the 64th story... I somewhat hmm.. happened to browse through my whatsapp groups... and somehow.. I got to see the profile picture of my ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend's. She belonged to a new guy and hmm... I don't feel sorrow.. or what... that I missed her out. but it was just some..messed up feeling... I know I shouldn't be... we aparted and it was due to both sides' fault.. and there's more fault in me for the break up. I do not feel jealous but.... just really had this feeling that I can't really describe.. just so messed up.. Didn't know where to crash to... I thought the best way was to fall asleep. I closed the laptop lid.. dropped my handphone and just got to the master room to force myself to sleep..but I coulnd't.. until it was like 1am.
Woke up in the morning.. ate two bananas and rushed for gym again. I was mentally tired when I woke up.. and unlike the other days.. I couldn't wake up. I didn't hear the alarm ring unlike the other days.
On the way to gym..while I was riding on the bike.. The dreams.. The dreams I saw.. the scenes I saw during my sleep.. came across. I had dreamt of my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. For the whole dream talking to me... and I remember I stole his mini bicycle and ran away but got caught in the end. The dream... a dolphin swimming in the pool of dream.. I couldn't get out of it..
Reached gym and renewed my membership one more month. Of course..mom paid for me. I need to pay her back when I receive my work payment.
One thing that was really weird was that.. I really don't know why.. It wasn't like I over exercised yesterday and wasn't that I didn't take enough sleep or I didn't even raise the weight I was lifting but..today.. was really harder than any other days.. After that dream... I guess I was mentally tired. I felt myself I wasn't physically tired. But really... I couldn't exercise hard like before.. Was really tired today.
Left gym for work. On reaching.. I bought three Sneakers to eat. Had one for myself and kept the two to give Jin Oh and Un Young who are on the same way back as me.
When I reached .. IT was quite late. It was already like 9:30 when I reached the train stop. I quickly ran and saw Ho Seung brother walking up from the back too. I like him. He is like 4 years older than I do.. I like him .. cos firstly he is nice and other than that. He looks like my idol. Jang Geu Rae. Im Si Wan for his stage name. I like him. Without hesitation, I gave him my sneakers. I like his smiles.
Today's work was kinda smooth. I made friends with one sister who was way older than me. And yeah today was really smooth. until the last moment where I was doing disposal thing.. ha.. I didn't really think and almost made a stupid mistake. The boss who fought with me the last week called me.. hmm crazy bastard. I really wasn't happy to hear that. But I knew I should be different from last week when I had fought with him. Just keeping my anger this one time.. I knew I can be at higher place.. Not just comparing with him but just as a person myself. Learning things..
Although I really regret that when me , hye ji and unyoung were having dinner.. I kind of told them what happened. I felt bad after telling the story. I didn't like making someone look bad. From then.. all the way till home. I felt bad about myself. I realised.. making other person look bad.. is worse for me than other people scolding me. I really can't take myself making other people sound bad. I shouldn't anymore..
Reached home.. and its family time again. Home sweet home.
Tomorrow is the last day of work for this week and I'm happy that weekends is coming. Gootta do my best tomorrow either
Fighting!
Goodnight.
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