88th..
and today was something different indeed man..
Lived like a normal person after such long time. Like how the others always do. I went out to shop. For .. 8 hours..
Me being super indecisive.. mom and sis knew about me.. went back home leaving me at the shopping mall.. Thinking... in deep thought on the cubicle.. the exertion of the excrements making my thoughts to hurry...
Slept really late the last night.. around 1:30 am. I had to get up at 7 to go for church and play Sunday league football. I managed to hear the alarm ring and got up for church. Didn't bathe.. but only sat down at the cubicle.. hoping to fall asleep...
30mins later.. I left for church.. and it was another Sunday.. sitting down unconsciously and just dazing out... Then I thought. I shouldn't.. I should listen to all other people like the way I listened to uncles at our family gatherings. That respect.. and that tension..
However though.. it was hard listening to somebody's sermon for so long being awake.. I was just dazing out for an hour.. and realized it was the end of the service when everybody stood to sing the closing chants.
It was another moment.. realizing.. a service has ended... this way..
I unlocked my bike and headed to the Sukji primary school. Seeing the cars in front the school.. I knew we were playing today. I greeted all the people and helped out with chores as I was the youngest.
My mind before going for today's football gathering was that.. as it would be the last match that I will play in Korea before leaving.. Today's game will be somewhat of a summary of how much I had improved.. Hoping for a better me... I began playing the game.
As soon as the game began.. I felt hot and heavy. The weather was like spring now but still... was windy. However. . i just felt my whole body was heavy. I took out my pants halfway during the game.. took out my gloves.. and took out my jacket too. I was only wearing shorts and shirt like how I used to wear in Singapore. Only wearing this Innova PE shirt.. I felt much more comfortable and light.. although my play didn't improve at all. I wasn't able to give a proper pass and all. I was just so nervous when I get the ball. I couldn't play my game.. and like three games ended that way..
It was disappointing that I didn't improve by the way I played game but it is important to note that I wasn't given chances to play game during my stay in here. I should join the Saturday NUS football club in Singapore that I used to go previously as soon as I reach Singapore. Having this dream of making it into the SIM's main team.. gotta make sure it happens.
After all the games.. there was an opening ceremony for the three clubs that shared the primary school. Like the usual Korean customs.. they bought the pig head.. soju.. makgorli.. and all the liquors and dried pollack and some weird fishes.
Our chairperson gave a speech and they bowed three times hoping for another healthy year. It was the ritual.. We all ate the food and drank. As I was the youngest.. all the uncles from everywhere called me up to offer me soju and makgeoli and I couldn't reject...so I had to drink it up at once. It wasn't hard but makgeoli was really strong.. Having to drink two cups at one go.. I was really kinda dizzy. Reached home and I was already dizzy not able to stand properly.. I wondered how the uncles always play matches every week while drinking makgeoli during their break times..
Reached home and mom nagged again about me drinking .. and I began to take out those words that I wanted to tell the day before.. like how much I love her.. and no matter what she is my most beautiful mom.. and all..
Although I was drunk.. I told mom that I needed to go on a shopping as I won't have much time later on. Mom wanted to follow me although she didn't have anything to buy. Sis and mom followed and we got down to the Lotte mall at Suwon station that was newly built. We were supposed to go to the EMart at first but it was closed as it was the 2nd Sunday of the month.
There were list of things that I had planned to buy.. like hoodies... zip up .. pants.. training pants and all. Getting there.. I began to look carefully to see the best one and cheaper ones.. It was really mind breaking to think that I had to see the whole mall to check out what they had. I was a perfectionist and always to had to see everything in the mall. I looked up all the floors from first to 6th. It was crazy really.. I forgot all the things I had seen at the first and second floor by the time I reached the 6th floor. Then.. I got down to the first floor again to see again. Mom and sis was already tired by the time they got back from the 6th floor. I didn't want them to pressure me down so asked them to take a seat at Lotteria. Looking through all the places.. I really couldn't decide.. it all seemed same to me.. and I couldn't remember all.. My another heaviest dilemma was whether should I buy more jeans or more training pants.. That was really of a heavy dilemma. I really couldn't decide. I found a seat in front the toilets.. there were seats for people to wait for their family or friends to come back from toilet. I took the cosiest corner seat and began to fall in thoughts.. considering.. I want to look like those casual University students.. and how should I even wear.. What should I wear like?.. Would wearing traing pants to school often be fine? How am I going to make use of these pants?
Considering for so long... I repeated the getting up and sitting down under the nerve breaking down situation. Mom called me to ask me to walk around and show her what I had seen .. and I just wanted time for myself to think. I was really careful when deciding things for me.. like clothes or anything else.
Mom and sis left the shopping mall first. Then.. began my confusion and this long hours of deciding..
I just couldn't decide.
I finally decided that I want to buy two training pants and one jean. That was the final decision. However. the problem began from here. I couldn't decide which shop's training pants I should buy. Ha.. listing down.. writing down the so many encounters I had while buying this training pants and all is super long that I reached the shopping mall at 1pm and got back home when it was 9. What I had bought in that 8 hours was just two training pants.. one jean and a few tshirsts. All in uniqlo..after all this moving around and stuff..
Shopping is really tiring...
I just can't decide..
It's really not a thing for me.
Hope mom always buy clothes for me and I just be happy wearing it.
Hope to make tomorrow another meaningful and different day.
Goodnight...
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