Ha... Midnight's up.
It's only been twenty days of me staying here yet I feel like it has really been fast.
I can't take this life. Is not as hard till me leaving home out of sudden like how I did last times, but is still really suffocating.
Today morning, woke up with another stare from mom which no one would like. I walked away from her and she prepared a breakfast. I do not like talking to her so much. The more I talk to her, she will nag and make things complicated. She has a talent of blaming a person into a false sin. I would avoid at all means talking to her. I left home early after breakfast to get out of this suffocating air. Leaving home around 9, I reached the library at 10. I was wondering what to do, after the long days of part-time jobs. I put my bag on my allocated seat and got to the corridor to flip through the newspapers. The words on paper didn't come to my eyes. I left to the cyber room and searched for jobs. I did not want myself wasting time in the library. I wanted to do something. I prefer the feeling of me being alive and keep learning something, although it is really hard when it comes to me sitting down and studying. I contacted all the employers. Out of a sudden, I realised I lost my passbook. The only place I could have lost was the first floor in the library where I used to scan my passbook. However, it was gone and wasn't there. I quickly reported to the bank that I had lost it. The clerk on the phone directed me clearly and kindly.
There were several things I had to do today. Those were, watching pinocchio dramas that I couldn't at home, calling the Ministry of Defence for info on enlistment, calling on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to ask for the renewal of my passport and to find jobs. I called the Ministry of Defence and realised that my enlistment was postponed till 2019 as I was overseas. However, the person told me if I want to enlist earlier is also possible. There is this thing called 'prior enlistment check' that I need to apply to enlister earlier. I guess I will have to find out ways to get check on that. I am no longer a kid. I have to do things myself. The Ministry of Foreign Affair did not answer my call so I had to wait till tmr to make a call. Finished watching two drama episodes of Pinocchio and received a call from the workplace that I worked as flyer distributor. They told me that the payment was done already and asked me whether I can help them to work tomorrow till Sunday. I was so glad that I was offered another job from them as this job was really easy and the pay was good. I told them I will work only on 31st Dec, as I have work from 2nd Jan.
Hearing that the payment was done, numerous thoughts came in mind on how to use it. First thing that I want to do after getting my payment was to apply for gym. But I became more cautious as it was a money that I hardly got. Is something to consider for the next few days. I packed my bag in the library and began walking down. As I was walking down, I kept asking myself what can I do to make this holiday a useful one. Then, the Citizen's hall that was just beside the library came on my eyes. I saw a bunch of aunties practicing Nanta, a musical instrument. AH! Why I had never thought of it. The Suwon Citizen's hall was just beside my library for the whole time, yet I had never visited once. I went inside straight ahead to see what programs they offer. There was a banner inside and I checked them out. It showed a series of programs they provide and one that caught my eyes was 'Musical'. I am not talented but I do love performing it. I had once got the chance to perform as an auntie in a church Musical and I did love doing it a lot. However, the dates were somewhat not matching. I had part-time jobs till 18th Jan but most of the programs started at an early Jan. I called the call center on the banner and asked them whether there is any available slot for musical. There was two classes and one was for 'beginners' and the other was for 'performers'. The beginner class was already filled and the performer class still had some slots. I told the clerk about my past experience and asked whether I can be qualified to take the performer's class. She told me she is going to get back to me and got down my number. Having to know there exists a place where they educate people talents in a short period of time, I was glad yet regretted knowing so late.
I got a call on the way down from mom that asked me to come to a restaurant for dinner. Today was my sister's start of vacation and we had a dinner outside. We had a little conversation and got back home. I began searching much deeply into the one I saw at the citizen's hall. I realized there was actually much more. This place is not just in Suwon but also in any other cities. Thus, if I can't do the musical in Suwon, I can apply for the ones in other cities. Having various options, I began searching all of them while getting nagged by mom for using computer for long which was like 1 hour and more. Ha... There was another barrier when I was making the ID for this website as I had to use mom's phone to make it. Mom obviously asked me what was it for and she again, did not like the idea of it. She would scold me without knowing what I am doing there. She would think everything is a waste of life unless I sit down at the library and stay till 6 or 7 and get home. I do not like this life anymore. I wanna leave. I prefer my life in Sg where I was alone at home. I am not having the exact vacation I want. Maybe,, I am too greedy for hoping for such considering what I had done in Sg.
20 days past and there should be about 70 to 80 days left. I want to make most out of it. I realised.. time flies fast. Time wouldn't wait for me. Is on me to make the best use of it. My time is not the same as how others had spent their time. I can call my 19 years a fruitful experience but not a fruitful achievements.. If the society wants a full of achievements. there has to be a compromise for me either... It's time to make achievements.. Do not forget..
See you tomorrow..Youngsub.
Goodnight
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